Cross cultural misunderstandings are now a part of my everyday life here - I've been told (nicely, by friends) that I'm being rude to be so polite, for example. Or I've had to help my friend translate complaints for K who was cheated when her food came at a restaurant - the waiter assumed that because she spoke English, that we wouldn't notice that on the menu, she was promised something completely different than the much more inexpensive dish she was brought. They were going to charge her 12 litas just to fix her order - saying, "you foreigners should know that Lithuania is an expensive country." Thank goodness we've covered food in my Lithuanian course - the minute I gave K's complaint in Lithuanian, things were immediately solved.
One big "problem" has been interpreting body language and controlling my own body language. If I smile on the street to a stranger, they immediately know I am a foreigner. Here, open emotions are saved for those you know and love - but to me, the very normal, happy people around me look so sad and depressed because they don't wear the over-happy mask I'm used to seeing in the states.
Yet my experiences at folk song festivals have been completely the opposite. When I've sat down at a concert and observed those around me before the music starts, the tendency is that everyone stares ahead, or talks to the few friends that they know around them. Yet when the music begins, strangers begin to speak with each other, dance with each other - even smile at each other. What is it about the musical culture here that suddenly makes it okay for a Lithuanian to feel comfortable grabbing my hand and dancing with me, when only moments before, she was sitting quietly with a blank face, only recognizing my presence out of the corners of her eyes? What is it about music that makes people feel safe enough to celebrate?
I have many theories on this, but I'll only share them after another 5 weeks here.
Although, I do want to share this - here, the song popular among the young people I've talked to has a chorus, "Kaip gyveni? Hei, gerai!" (How are you, familiar? Great!) It is a really popular pop song here that some informants described to me as the "folk song for teenagers today". In "real life", I'm lucky to be greeted with "laba diena" by a stranger (very formal, "good day") - usually it only happens when I'm paying for something. Sometimes, I see people who know each other shake hands without a sound when they cross paths, continuing on in their separate directions without uttering a word. Many people I know avoid saying "gerai" (good) when they are asked how they are - usually "not bad" or an equivalent is shared. But this song comes on at an event, and suddenly, young people feel safe to ask the strangers around them how they are in an informal way. They are singing about being "laimingas" - happy! They grab hands, dance, and openly care about each other, even if they don't know each other. I'm hypothesizing that this is probably the reason why so many older people have showed disgust for this song at song festivals I've been to...
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